Every morning, we compile the links of the
day and dump them
here...
highlighting the big storyline. Because there's nothing quite as
satisfying as a good morning dump.
We begin with two storylines, premises, really, that you must
understand up front:
1) The Celtics cry. They cry more than Best Actress winners at the
Oscars. They cry like every game is a wedding. Every time a call goes
against them, there will be more tears than Kleenex can handle. They cry
even after they have to dial 911 to mop up some fallen opponent who's
been mugged and beaten within an inch of his life.
2) The Celtics also foul. They foul on every play. They foul
everyone, from stars to scrubs. They foul as a strategy. They foul as a
style. They foul as a tradition. They foul hard and they foul
incessantly. They foul just for the fun of fouling. They probably foul
their own bus driver on the way to the arena.
LA Times: Ted Green: Your guide to hating the Celtics
This thing goes on to hate on almost every Celtics on the crew individually.
Typical LA... can't say much good about their own team, so they're going to launch into the hate right away.
That's alright... when the Celtics go in an take Game 1, the hate will be turned in on their own team... because that's how LA rolls. They are as fickle a bunch as you'll find. They can play great for 47 minutes but if they lag off just a little, the fans will turn on them in the final 60 seconds.
Most Lakers fans don't go to the games for the game. They go to be seen. If the Clippers magically got good, they'd be wearing red and blue in a blink. They'll go wherever the stars go with a script or headshot at the ready hoping for that break to make it big.
I'll bet most of them couldn't name 3 Celtics if they were looking at the team photo. I'll bet most of them wouldn't even recognize Sasha Vujacic if the passed them on Rodeo Drive because he's just "beneath" them.
Win a game in LA, and the sky will start to fall. Win Game 1 in LA and people will start to burn the car flags they just bought. Sure, their 5 actually hardcore fans will show faith, but the rest of their bandwagon, front-running losers will just freshen up their spray tans, put on a Dodgers jersey, and move on.
..... see. We can do hate here too. That's just a warm up. Morning shoot-around, if you will. This will be fun. Thanks KWAPT for the link.
UPDATE: In my morning haze, I completely missed this disgusting line about Paul Pierce:
By the way, Pierce's idea of a fun night is going clubbing and getting
stabbed. Good times!
If you're offended by jokes about someone nearly being stabbed to death for no good reason... then you can write a letter to the editor of the LA Times. Chuck has posted the address in the comments. Keep it professional and classy. Don't stoop to this jerk's level.
On Page 2: This might be Doc's best job yet