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The Onion pokes fun at KG/Ray Allen ‘feud’

Chuck - Red's Army October 9, 2012 Humor, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen 5 Comments

In response to the shooting guard’s decision to sign with the Miami Heat earlier this offseason, Celtics forward Kevin Garnett confirmed Wednesday that he’s no longer on growling terms with longtime friend and former teammate Ray Allen. “It is what it is. I will not be shouting at the top of my lungs in that guy’s face from now on,” said Garnett, adding that he would never again roar at Allen in private nor would he engage in any pregame trash-screaming. “He made a decision based on his family, and I respect that, but it does mean he can’t keep expecting me to utter a deep howl of excitement whenever I see him.” Garnett, who has not communicated with referee Ed Malloy for several years, announced that he was finally ready to start whispering threats in the NBA official’s ear again.

The Onion

If you aren’t reading the Onion… you’re not laughing enough.

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  • Brick James

    I like the Onion in general, but my expectations were too high on this one. Just wasn’t funny to me.

    This might be a good idea for a reader contest though. Write your own parody type of thing. I’m sure your readers could do much better and the humor would resonate better.

  • http://www.djkahn.com DJ Kahn

    Paul Pierce is one of my all-time favorite Celtics, but I would love to see a video/string of clips of him getting casually and almost imperceptibly bumped-into and throwing his arms up and yelling. Like he would be in line at the grocery store, and a woman is trying to shuffle through behind him, and ever so slightly bumps him and he yells “AARAGHGH!” and throws his whole basket of groceries into the air. Stuff like that.

  • Brenda

    HILARIOUS – now if only KG would shout whisper in my direction ;)

  • Chuck – Red’s Army

    I enjoyed the last line…

  • KY Celts fan

    I don’t understand The Onion. To me, it just seems like a glorified version of MAD Magazine. My older brother laughs at it constantly though. Oh well, whatever does it for ya…