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Red's Army

Dwight Howard Did What?

Chuck - Red's Army November 5, 2009 Uncategorized 12 Comments

Dwight-howard1
Dwight Howard sure knows how to seduce the ladies. Check out this tale by adult film star and former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Cary:

Dwight’s a cool guy. For a month, we like talked on the phone,
and he was always trying to give me prayers to get me out of porn and
give me Bible verses to read. So then, I was going to go visit him when
I was in Orlando, but I went over to this other guy’s house instead,
Chris Kirkpatrick from N’Sync.  And then Dwight started calling, and
calling, and calling me, because he knew I was with Chris Kirkpatrick,
so eventually at 3 in the morning, Chris was like don’t answer Dwight’s
calls.

“I get a text from Dwight at 3 in the morning — I’m outside
Chris’s house. I’m like oh my god, what do I do? I was like, I got
Dwight here and I got Chris in the other room and I’m talking to them
back and forth. So finally I had to just pull Dwight in the bathroom
and tell him he needs to go home. I was like I’m really sorry, I really
like you, but this isn’t the time or place. When I pull him in the
bathroom, he pulls his pants down, I was like, whooa. Yeah, and so I
ran and started screaming …

When the Bible verses aren't working, plan B is to whip it out?

And talk about a blow to the ego, losing out to a former boy band star.

After the jump, an exclusive photo of Alex Rodriguez celebrating his World Series title after hours.

Arod

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  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p0115709edd57970b G4L

    Haha. You have got to be kidding me. Thats hilarious!

  • Art

    Yankees 27 Time World Series Champions And Red Sox Suck.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p0115709edd57970b G4L

    Hey Art, not sure if you know but this is a Celtics website. Why don’t you go ahead and go to a redsox site.

  • AboveTheRim

    haha Art has zero friends to celebrate a title with. Guy has to go to a celtics website.
    FAIL

  • Double P Reppin the B

    hahaha what a creep. Just whip it out, Mary Cary too? Shes busted wasn’t she the one on that celebrity rehab all drugged up? This is so strange

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f6a54c2970c ToTheRuins

    Doesnt suprise me whatsoever, after all…he is an NBA player..
    lol..check out this youtube video of dwight howard recording in beiging, by the end he turns his attention to some tiny chick, who he shortly after probably hooked up with
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=md6gBEkm3hI
    and also…yeah mary cary is totally busted, who hasnt she screwed, and what does dwight want with her….. how big does he have to be to make the bish turn around and run (by the way, thats not a believable end to the story, mary cary turning and running from a pro athletes junk, ya doubt it)

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p0115704b7be5970b bigpartymaker

    Yeah this is tough to believe. This dude can, and most likely does, hollow out coeds across the country. Why would he stalk this horse toothed porn star?

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p011570423591970b KobeWearsAPurpleThong

    That is an odd story. I don’t know how credible Mary Carey is though. She is basically a train-wreck of drugs, booze and sex. My type of chick. Wild story though…

  • Lee in Oregon

    hey skank, dont be pulling NBA dudes into bathrooms unless you’re ready to see some “magic”

  • Rj

    Wait… Dwight Howard…Mary Cary… Chris Kirkpatrick … Bible verses …
    This is true …J.K. Rowling couldn’t think this one up

  • DRJ

    Story is ridiculous. She “gets a text” from Dwight while she’s outside Chris’ house, and in the next sentence, Dwight is magically there (no longer texting, now inside the house… whose house? Chris’?) and she’s pulling him into the bathroom. Ridiculous structure. Must be a joke. But whose joke? Mary’s, or RedsArmy’s?

  • BigMck

    I didn’t make this stuff up. Took from a credible source – Sports By Brooks. Ha!