Season Preview… Highlights style | Red's Army - The Voice of Boston Celtics Fans
Red's Army

Season Preview… Highlights style


The season begins TONIGHT!  And just like we did in college, Chuck and I waited until the absolute last minute to get a huge project done… and only made it happen because we pulled an all-nighter. 

Which brings us to our little season preview.  And because we are who we are… and because everyone else has already done a well thought-out, comprehensive preview… we're doing our preview Highlights style.  Why Highlights?  Cuz Chuck and I both have subscriptions.  One day we'll graduate to Mad.

So sit back, flip through our version of Highlights to get our take on what's gonna happen in the NBA this year, and when it's done… you can offer your take.

Goofus gallant 1
Goofus gallant 2

Goofus gallant 3
Goofus gallant 4


Preview maze


Here's the 2009/10 season preview – mad libs style. Feel free to submit your version in the comments.

The 1.(team) will win the NBA title in a 2.(number) game series over the 3.(team). 4.(Player) will be the Finals MVP. 

The 5.(team) will defeat the 6.(team) in the Eastern Conference Finals, while the 7.(team) defeat the 8.(team) in the West.

The Celtics will total 9.(number) wins, 10.(verb) the Bulls regular season record. Due to various injuries, 11.(noun) and 12.(noun), the Lakers will fail to reach the conference finals.

Despite inferior stats, 13.(player) will collect the league MVP award.  Even the Kobe and LeBron 14.(noun) couldn't ignore the impact of 15.(player) on a team that won (9, repeated) games. The (15, repeated) will round up a bunch of awards, including 16.(player) as Sixth Man, and 17.(coach) for Coach of the Year.

Other notables: Rookie of the Year – 18.(player). Defensive Player of the Year – 19.(player). The first head coach to be fired will be 20.(coach).

The biggest surprise will come in the 21.(division), where the 22.(team) edge out the 23.(team). But 24.(blogger) will say I told you so, because Vince Carter is a 25.(noun).

Chuck                                        John
1. Boston Celtics                        1. Boston Celtics
2. 6                                            2. 6
3. San Antonio Spurs                  3. Portland TrailBlazers 
4. Rajon Rondo                           4. Paul Pierce
5. Celtics                                    5. Celtics
6. Cavaliers                                 6. Cavaliers
7. Spurs 
                                    7. Blazers
8. Mavericks                           &#0160
;   8. Spurs
9. 73
                                          9. 66
10. breaking                               10. ignoring
11. complacency                        11. Khloe Kardashian
12. Kobe Douchebaggery            12. Pau Gasol's vagina
13. Kevin Garnett                        13. Kevin Garnett
14. sycophants                           14. ball washers
15. Celtics                                  15. Celtics
16. Marquis Daniels                     16. Rasheed Wallace
17. Doc Rivers                             17. Doc Rivers
18. Blake Griffin                           18. Blake Griffin
19. Dwight Howard                       19. Dwight Howard
20. Byron Scott                           20. Don Nelson
21. Southeast                              21. Southeast
22. Atlanta Hawks                       22. Atlanta Hawks 
23. Orlando Magic                       23: Orlando Magic
24. John                                     24: Chuck
25. big pile of crap                       25: his secret lover

There it is.  Chuck and I are both all in.  What about you?  Share your thoughts in the comments.

Like this Article? Share it!

  • What a great post to Start day the GO CELTICS!!!! This could be your Mona Lisa, Godfather or Abbey Road. What ever you want to call it. great work!!!!!!!

  • Eli

    lol this ish is funny…but do you both honestly think LA is not going to make the Western Conference finals? It seems to be wishful thinking. They certainly have a strong team, and I can’t see Portland beating them in the playoffs.

  • Orb

    Nice job guys. I’m more of a Ranger Rick guy myself, but still. Here we go:
    1. Celtics
    2. 6
    3. Lakers
    4. Ray Allen
    5. Celtics
    6. Cavs
    7. Lakers
    8. Spurs
    9. 69. Heh heh.
    10. Not caring about so that they can rest up for the playoffs
    11. Artest’s frontal lobe
    12. Crash of bus full of player-publicists
    13. Tim Duncan
    14. ESPN-mandated hero-worshippers
    15a. Messed this up by making TD the MVP…
    15b. Celtics
    16. Marquis Daniels
    17. Doc
    18. Blake Griffin
    19. KG
    20. Jay Triano
    21. Northwest
    22. Thunder
    23. Nuggets
    24. to the ruins
    25. first cousin to Danno

  • Fantastic work here! Very creative with the Pau Gasol’s vagina John. I like that big pile of crap remark from you as well Chuck.
    But in all honesty, it’s Phil Jackson’s abortion sized vagina. C’mon now.

  • Alex

    Just knowing that Big Baby could be out indefinitely is making me depressed.

  • BigMck

    Nice work on the madlibs, especiall 24 and 25.

  • Tollbooth Willy

    Bravo, good sirs, bravo. Goofus and Gallant have much wisdom to share. Well, not so much Goofus.

  • hahahahaha i love this
    also, i expect to be meeting the lakers in the finals this year, and showing the Douchebag (oops did i say the Douchebag? I meant Kobe Bryant) that with both of our teams in top shape, we are still easily better than LA

  • hahahahaha i love this
    also, i expect to be meeting the lakers in the finals this year, and showing the Douchebag (oops did i say the Douchebag? I meant Kobe Bryant) that with both of our teams in top shape, we are still easily better than LA