What Bill Simmons Thinks About The Celtics | Red's Army - The Voice of Boston Celtics Fans
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What Bill Simmons Thinks About The Celtics

While I'm always ripping Bill Simmons for writing ridiculously long columns with one too many movie references, I do read the guy's stuff when I can. He does amuse me and I respect his basketball opinion.

In the Sport's Guy's basketball preview, he has the 62-win Celtics beating the Cavaliers in the Eastern conference finals, but losing to the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA Finals. 

Whatever. What I find most interesting, is his take on Rajon Rondo, Rasheed Wallace and Kevin Garnett. Three Celtics who make his list of the 33 most intriguing players in the NBA.


How will he handle Danny Ainge shopping him while publicly dragging him through the mud this past June? Will it bother him that the Celtics didn't care about signing him to an extension? Why are they so afraid to commit to him? Why does he keep getting so much "loner" and "enigma" buzz? Why is everyone so willing to forget how unbelievably he played against Chicago this past spring? Why doesn't it matter that he spent the summer playing with Mark Price and getting into sick shape? Why risk pushing away someone this good? What am I missing? I remain confused.

(Even stranger, he's absolutely jacked this season. Not since Joe Piscopo has someone's suddenly ripped body been this disorienting. Check him out. He looks like Calvin Johnson. You will be shocked. If this were baseball, we'd be making HGH jokes about him.)


Am I excited about Sheed turning Boston into the biggest ref-baiting, trash-talking, fan-unfriendly, swaggeracious (I just made up that word) NBA team since the 1992 Knicks? Actually, not really. If you are not a Celtics fan, instinctively, you will dislike the 2009-10 Celtics. Sheed is going to exacerbate every already-annoying quality they had. There will not be a more unpopular opponent in the league. You will see a steady stream of violent chest bumps, screams to the ceiling, angry nodding, eye bulging, intimidating looks, hard fouls, low-scoring games and everything else you'd ever hate about a basketball team. They will feed off your negative energy, live for it, seek it, thrive on it. That's how the season will go.


…So if you're expecting KG to slap 24/13s and dominate games defensively, think again. I see him more like an aging middle linebacker — think Ray Lewis — who can still make big plays and knows where to be at all times, and yet, you're not crazy about seeing him drop into coverage to cover Knowshon Moreno one on one. Either way, it will be fascinating.

One silver lining for Celts fans: The Celtics can make the Finals with Garnett at 65-70 percent efficiency. Why? Because it's the deepest of the three Garnett/Celtics teams, and because the rest of the conference is that weak. Anything he gives them beyond a 14/7 and good defense is a bonus. A little frightening to say about someone in Year 1 of a three-year, $53 million extension. But true.

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  • another tim.

    Re: Rondo. I think he’s always been sort of jacked, no? If we’re talking players that look jacked out of nowhere, isn’t yi Jianlin the standard?
    i don’t think i like Simmons’ tone about the Celtics not resigning Rondo yet. Personally, I think they should have already. However, I’m not ready to say it’s because the Celtics didn’t “care” or are “afraid to commit to him”.
    He also makes it sound like Garnett just signed a three year extension over the offseason…

  • larry

    who cares what bill simmons thinks..i don’t read his crap anyway.

  • gordbillybob

    I stopped reading Bill Simmons after I read through a huge article where he was comparing everything to a weird teen movie Almost Famous…..I was as if a twelve year old girl merged with Stephen Smith or something. Not only was it a terrible movie but a huge waste of time, some of his articles may be good, but I’m not taking the risk ever again.

  • KY Celts fan

    I liked that “Almost Famous” article and it actually caused me to go and rent it for the first time.
    I generally do like Simmons and think his articles are entertaining. I just can’t stand his pessimism. He says he’s a Celtics fan (which don’t doubt he certainly is), but it seems he takes every opportunity to rip the organization. Maybe he just doesn’t like DA or Doc. Or maybe he’s just sour he has to attend every Clippers game. Either way, the man needs to have a glass-half-full mentality.