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Red's Army

I’m sick of waiting for Marquis Daniels

RedsArmyAdmin July 30, 2009 Uncategorized 8 Comments

We've been hearing for… what… 8 months now for Marquis Daniels to officially sign with the Celtics and go through the obligatory meet-and-greet.  Well, I'm sick of waiting.  I'm doing the Marquis Daniels introductory news conference… with or with out him.

Daniels intro 1
The air at the Celtics' Waltham training facility is thick with anticipation as the much awaited arrival of Marquis Daniels is finally here.  About 200 members of local, national, and international media have assembled.  At 11am sharp, everyone walks in:  Danny Ainge, Doc Rivers, Marquis Daniels, and the Big Three of Pierce, Garnett and Allen.

Danny Ainge:  Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm happy to introduce today, the man you've all been waiting for… literally.  So without further ado, let's introduce Marquis Daniels… and open the floor to questions.  Yes, you.

Reporter:  Hi, John Karalis… RedsArmy.com.  Marquis, what's already different for you now that you're here in Boston as opposed to playing in other cities?

Daniels:  Well, obviously, the history.  I'm so proud to be part of this amazing franchise and to hopefully help raise another banner to the rafters.  I'm also very proud to be part of an organization so progressive that it allows a blogger to attend something like this and have the first question.

Ainge:  Thanks.. let me just say… we value sites like yours as much… maybe more so… than the mainstream media outlets.  You truly have your hands on the pulse of Celtics fans.

Daniels intro 2Reporter:  Chuck McKenney… also of Red's Army… Doc… Marquis seems to be brimming with confidence.  How do you think he'll fit in here?

Doc:  I'd also first like to echo how awesome you guys are.  Ummm… Marquis is a pretty confident guy.  I mean… who else would walk into Boston and wear a purple suit?

(Marquis laughs and shows off his suit)

Doc:  Seriously… you need to be confident in yourself just to handle yourself around all these personalities.  We got a lot of confident guys in that locker room… you gotta be able to hold your own.

Daniels:  Hey, I know I can get the job done… but I know my role.  I'm just focused on winning a ring.

Daniels intro 4

Garnett:  You'd better be… or I'll bite your face off.

(Everyone laughs)

Pierce:  You know… he ain't kidding.  Why do you think we haven't seen Mikki Moore since the season ended?

(Doc laughs)

Doc:  Oh yeah…. wow… you really messed him up.  It took two weeks to clean up all the blood.

Daniels:  Uhhhh….

Garnett:  Just win a ring… and we're cool. (laughs maniacally)

And so it continued for an hour.  Afterwards, the newspaper writers crowded around John and Chuck, handed over resumes, and said things like "Please rescue us from this dying medium."  

I'm pretty sure that's exactly how it will go.  For those of you wondering how a trade for Big Baby will go, check out CelticsBlog's breakdown of why Big Baby is difficult to trade because he's a base year compensation guy.  Also out there, the Hornets signed Ike Diogu.  Detroit News is praising an unorthodox Rasheed Wallace.  Dee Brown is coaching Springfield's D-League team.  

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  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p0115709edd57970b G4L

    Haha!! This is great, This made my morning! Great job as usual!

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5d5d11970c Tim (FD)

    Reporter: Tim… Fire Doc of Redsarmy…. Doc, I’d just like to ask if you’re going to be able to maintain a steady rotation throughout the year with the the new players coming off the bench. I remember back in 2006 when you had somewhere near 40 different starting lineups and… (Security enters and removes reporter from press room)
    Doc: I always thought the FD in Tim (FD) stood for friggin douchebag

  • Bas Rutten Jr.

    That has a definite ring to it.
    http://tinypic.com/r/wwhtnk/3

  • Bas Rutten Jr.

    This is a better link…
    http://i25.tinypic.com/wwhtnk.jpg

  • http://profile.typepad.com/redsarmy Red’s Army

    Hah! Nice.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/redsarmy Red’s Army

    we could make a shirt out of that.

  • Bas Rutten Jr.

    Haha, and I’d buy it!

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p0115704263ce970b Papa Irish

    haha i could see how some of the other frequent commenters on this sites question might look like……
    Reporter: Nick, of Redsarmy….. Danny, WHY THE BLEEP DIDNT YOU BLEEPING SIGN THE BADDEST MOTHER BLEEPER AROUND MATT BARNES, YOU MOTHER BLEEPING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE NEEEEED MATT BARNES YOU DUMB SON OF A BLEEP, HOW AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN BLEEPING SEE THIS, BLEEEP
    Reporter: Jester00 of Redsarmy……. Hey uh Wyc, how long is this gonna take im ready for another beer
    Reporter: To the Ruins of Redsarmy……. Danny, you son of bitch if you say ONE MORE THING about rondo i’ll kill you my self; the guy is a pillar of the community and the best point guard in the league
    lol