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The 5 Worst Moments in Kobe Bryant’s Life

Chuck - Red's Army June 9, 2009 Uncategorized 37 Comments

Kobe-bryant

He might be on the cusp of his 4th NBA title, but I thought this would be a great time to take a look back at the low points of Kobe Bryant's career.

5. 2003-2004 NBA Finals 

The heavily favored Lakers got demolished in 5 games by the Detroit Pistons. Here's how NBA.com summarized his performance:

…shot 38 percent for the series. By firing away at will, he
helped the Pistons neutralize the effectiveness of O'Neal, who
scored 20 points but made just 6-of-16 free throws.

Our first glimpse into the selfish, phony side of Kobe.

4. Phil Jackson calls him "uncoachable"

In "The Last Season" Jackson suggests Bryant's influence on the
dissolution and labels him "uncoachable." According to Jackson, in
Bryant's exit interview with him he stated that O'Neal's fate with the
Lakers would affect his decision to return, saying "I'm tired of being
a sidekick."

Kobe runs two future Hall of Famers out of town. In the three subsequent years, the Lakers records are 34-48, 45-37, 42-40.

3. Shaq's "How's My Ass Taste Rap"


Shaq rips into Kobe while free-styling at a NYC club last summer. He calls him out for losing in the playoffs (more on that later) and for ratting on him about cheating on his wife. Thanks to the web, the rap makes its way around the world in days. Kobe pretends it doesn't bother him.

2. The 2003 sexual assault allegation

Mugshot

The infamous rape case. Bryant admits to having sex with a 19-year hold Colorado hotel employee, but denies the rape. I won't get into all the details of the encounter, but needless to say, Bryant suffers months of bad press. The case is dropped after the girl refuses to testify, but she files a civil suit and a settlement is reached. We are left with the priceless mugshot and images from that ridiculous press conference where Bryant tried to make himself cry as he defended himself to his wife and the world.

1. Game 6 of the 2008 NBA Finals.

2008nbafinalsgame6 

Despite being heavy favorites, the Lakers are manhandled by the Celtics. The series turned in Game 4 when the Celtics rallied from 24-points down to beat the Lakers in Los Angeles. Kobe reaches rock bottom when his limp Lakers lose by a record 39 points in the deciding Game 6.

With the outcome assured, Boston fans sang into
the night as if they were in a pub on nearby Canal Street. They
serenaded the newest champs in this city of champs, and taunted Kobe
Bryant and his Lakers, who drowned in a green-and-white wave for 48
minutes.

That's my list. Arbitrary observers would have the sexual assault case #1, but to this Celtics fan, nothing will ever surpass the look on his face during Game 6.

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  • davo

    wow. so this is what Celtics fans resort to once their team is bundled out of the playoffs? classy.

  • SydneyCeltic

    Dude, shut up. Kobe is persona non grata around here. If you love him so much, piss off to a Lakers site somewhere. Nothing will make Celtics fans like Kobe – End of story.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f2d28d7970c BigMck

    The beauty about our hate for Kobe – it thrives all year round.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f2d28d7970c BigMck

    KKK?

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p0115704b7be5970b bigpartymaker

    Kobe would say all of those are just “bunnies”
    Gotta love routing for a guy who when he gets caught hollowing out a teenage girl, he throws other guys under the bus. Real likable, stand-up guy.
    And y’all calling us racist? Pubic-face Gasol ain’t exactly Dr. ML King

  • BigMck

    Wow….it didn’t take long for Kobe lovers to resort to racist slurs in an attempt to defend their man.
    If these comments seem out of order, it’s because I was forced to deleted a bunch.

  • #1

    you do realize Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen…cheat on their wives? and have messed around with NBA groupies there entire careers? paul pierce will screw anything that walks and has been dating/had a kid with a notorious NBA groupie, who has slept with over 40 NBA players and dated Larry hughes and others for long stretches? and he cheats on her as well…
    I really hope you arent naive and dumb enough to dent it

  • BigMck

    Yes I do. Not sure why you feel the need to point that out because I didn’t call out Kobe for cheating on his wife.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156faf0b78970c Mauritz

    There’s a huge difference between infidelity and rape, and nobody called out Kobe for cheating. He’s a rapist, which is something else entirely.
    Nobody claims every Celtic is perfect (look at wifebeater Robert Praish), but don’t try to defend Kobe. There’s just no possible way we’ll ever end up respecting someone like him.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156faf0b78970c Mauritz

    Hey at least Ray Allen features in a film that problematizes that culture. That’s more than you can say about almost any other man with money…

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p011570a7fe06970b LA_Native_Celts_Fan

    Honorable mention: Blowing a 3-1 series lead to Phoenix in 2006 (becoming only the ninth team in history to do so) and then getting angry with Charles Barkley (via a very heated text message) becuase he dared criticize his play in game 7.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p0115704b7be5970b bigpartymaker

    Yeah and if they were dumb enough to get caught, they wouldn’t say, in effect, well, everybody else does it, specifically my former teammate so and so…that’s such a bitch move, and you know it.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p011570423591970b KobeWearsAPurpleThong

    Wow-I feel honored-people are trying to impersonate me..unbelievable…

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p011570423591970b KobeWearsAPurpleThong

    ps.what did the comment say anyway..?

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p011570423591970b KobeWearsAPurpleThong

    Davo-No offense, but your team is on the cusp of winning another NBA title and you’re trolling around our site..? Get a life dude. Go out and buy a Sun Yue jersey or something.

  • bigmck

    “Redsarmy = KKK”
    At first, I thought it was some analogy like Kill Kobe….
    But then all the hate mail spewed in and I knew it wasn’t you…

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p011570423591970b KobeWearsAPurpleThong

    Ahh..yeah it’s amazing, as I said in response to one of these trolls
    earlier, their team is in the Finals, and they are still trolling around
    here. I guess it just proves the theory that alot of Faker’s fans are just
    straight up D-Bags.

  • dom1020

    least they made the playoffs that year, wasn’t that also the year Paul pierce led his team to an 18 game losing streak? Kobe was at least decent enough to lead his team to .500+ 4 out of the 5 seasons when shaq left…

  • davo

    for everyone’s information i’m not a Lakers fan. I’m a Magic fan. Thought this post might be about Kobe overcoming the worst moments in his life, but instead its just plain old hating. I get why you guys do it. You’re Celtics fans. It’s cool, there’s a rivalry and all… but damn, if you held every NBA player to the same standards you guys hold Kobe you’d end up hating the entire freaken league.
    anyway, I know you guys will never change your mind. Just know that everyone is bored of the Kobe hate. Maybe five years ago i would have joined in with you guys. Now it’s just lame.

  • LA_Native_Celts_Fan

    “wasn’t that also the year Paul pierce led his team to an 18 game losing streak?”
    No. That was the following year (the same year Kobe requested a trade on national radio).

  • deron

    LOL pathetic celtic fans……. Continue the hate. That only makes kobe bryant BETTER
    oh and whoever posted this fails. 2003-2004 was the finals against detroit.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f2d28d7970c BigMck

    You’re right deron. My bad.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f2d28d7970c BigMck

    Bored of the Kobe hate? Wrong. we are bored of the media giving Kobe massages. Jock sniffers like Stu Scott can’t get enough of this guy. They kiss his ass with the hopes he will want to hang out with them.

  • Lakerhater

    I’m not bored davo, give hate a chance.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5cd064970c Count Istvan

    Don’t forget to add Game 3 of the 2008-2009 NBA finals when Kobe chokes at the free throw line, commits a huge turn over and throws up about 15 bad shots down the stretch but somehow still gets his nob rubbed by Mark and Jeff Van Bryant. I thought I heard it all until I heard Van Bryant give the Lakers “credit” for not getting blown out.

  • celt

    didn’t pierce choke? OHHH LORD

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5cd064970c Count Istvan

    Is Paul Pierce the recipient of a 2 1/2 hour blow job from a national announce team that’s suppose to be unbiased? Oh Lord!

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5cd064970c Count Istvan

    But Give Kobe and the Lakers credit they normally get blown out in a game like this. But Kobe and LA didn’t get blown out and that is soooooooooo Impressive. That is from the Brother of the coach of the Orlando Magic. How badly did Stan kick his Brother’s ass when they were growing up for him to be cheerleading so hard for LA? Or does he know if he doesn’t stroke Kobe and LA next year he’s gone?

  • srm90

    You could have come up with something better than the Shaq Rap. Do you honestly think Kobe gives a crap about that? That should be in Shaq’s top 5 for how pathetic it makes him look. Notice how he rips into Kareem in that rap.

  • BigMck

    You’re right. Why would Kobe care if one of the biggest stars in his sport went on a public stage and asked him “how’s his ass taste?”
    It was the biggest public smackdown in the history of sports. And it couldn’t have happened to a nice d-bag.

  • MCDRLx

    Rofl, what pure class. Celtics fans will resort to anything.
    Last i checked, Boston’s been sitting at home since the East Semifinals, the Larry O’Brien trophy is sitting in Los Angeles, and Kobe Bryant won a Finals MVP award.
    The decade in championships:
    L.A. 4, Boston 1

  • http://www.internetpharmacy.bz internet pharmacy

    I think the sexual assault should be #1 in the list..

  • http://www.internetpharmacy.bz internet pharmacy

    I think the sexual assault should be #1 in the list..

  • suleqa

    hi kobe bryany

  • BostonTeaBagging

    Great list. But I bet you’re eating shit now after the Lakers spanked the Celtics last year in 7 games. Everyone knows Boston is one of the most racist cities in the U.S. You only care about black people when they can put a ball through a hoop. Say hi to Marky Mark and Ben Affleck for me you Boston queermo. Suck it, quaker

  • Shaylyn

    Dope!(:

  • http://profile.typepad.com/d101156213203375883 Allen M

    What about the look on YOUR face after game 7 of the 2010 finals?
    Lakers 4 life.