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Red's Army

Blueprint for beating Kobe and the Lakers

RedsArmyAdmin June 6, 2009 Uncategorized 36 Comments

Kobe jaw Chuck and I were swilling beers
last night and talking hoops and just marveling at Kobe Bryant's 3rd
quarter in Game 1 of the Finals.  Simply put, no matter how much
we hate that guy, he put on an amazing show.  The Lakers looked
unbeatable.  But… they're not.

First, the Lakers have a
horrible habit of relaxing after dominating performances.  Sure,
Kobe might flash his under-bite… which he just decided to unveil a
couple of games ago (*cough* *cough* marketing ploy *cough*) but
everyone else tends to ease off and relax after great games.

Second,
there's a formula for beating a guy like Kobe… especially when the
general expectation is for Kobe's supporting cast to take the night
off. 

Simply put… you let Kobe do it all.  Let
him carry the team… at least for 3 quarters.  Let him come out
hot.  Let him score 40… even
50… and all you've got to do is keep the score close for the first
36 minutes of the game. 

But once the 4th quarter
starts… you run double and triple teams at him.  You cut off
every slash… every drive.  You force him either to take wild
jumpers… or to dump the ball off to his cold, gawking teammates. 
You know, the guys who you've made stand around for 3 quarters as if
they had seats next to Jack Nicholson.  They've had no chance to
get into any flow.  Pau Gasol will pout.  Lamar Odom will
get lazy.  Andrew Bynum will get moody.  And then you ask them all to suddenly produce.  

That's your chance to make the run.  You take advantage of the Lakers disarray on offense by running and forcing them to play transition D.  The frustration on the offensive end can lead to problems on the defensive end and you can pull away.

Of course, this is easier said than done.  I understand there are variables.  You have to produce on your end as well.  You have to assume that Turkoglu, Lewis and Howard are going to give you at least average production.  You're going to have to be able to take advantage in the 4th quarter.  And you're going to have to make sure you ACTUALLY stop Kobe from going to the basket.  But if you can succeed in taking the supporting cast out of the game and turning them into spectators until they're forced to suddenly produce, you have a great chance to win this thing.

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  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5d5d11970c Tim (FD)

    He unveiled the underbite a few games ago???
    Kobe’s been doing that for years. Like 10.
    That’s a huge part of the reason I’ve always hated his guts.

  • Alex

    Uh, I don’t remember him ever doing that underbite crap until that one game in the playoffs. Yes, I’ve seen most of their games and he’s never done it.
    He seriously looks incredibly stupid doing it and I assume he thinks it makes him look intimidating…

  • bigmck

    Gotta agree with Alex. I’ve never seen that underbite thing until these playoffs.
    ESPN just did a piece this morning on the emergence of the “scowl”.

  • Jp

    I don’t remember it really either. And you know, when I first saw it last series, I thought he was doing a KG impersonation.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p011570423591970b KobeWearsAPurpleThong

    The Magic could not have shot the ball any worse, and most likely will not shoot that bad again in the near future. It might sound like a cop-out, but I honestly believe these guys were pretty nervous and a bit starstruck by the Finals. Who in that starting lineup has Finals experience..? Actually, who on that TEAM has Finals experience..? Not many. The Fakers were just cool, calm and collected and they executed well. And Kobe, as much as I don’t care for him personality-wise, is the best player on the planet (arguably). He got hot, and it all goes downhill from there for the opposing team. As far as his underbite, I thought it was because he was jizzing himself thinking about…well, himself.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5d5d11970c Tim (FD)

    He’s always done the scowl. Whether you want to call it an underbite is up for debate. But he’s always done the scowl.
    No joke – I have a picture of him doing the scowl up on my dartboard.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5d5d11970c Tim (FD)

    And it’s been there for years.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5d5d11970c Tim (FD)

    Yes… the Magic shot 29.9% from the field. They don’t need to change their game-plan.
    Van-Gundy is a really good coach (as annoying and humorous as he can sometime seem). He should be given credit for winning the Celtics series for his defensive strategy on Paul Pierce in games 5-7.
    I have no doubt he’ll get his team to a place where they’ve just got to hit shots. Whether they can do that, is unknown. All we can do is pray.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5d5d11970c Tim (FD)

    Here’s the face I’m talking about.
    http://www.celebrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/kobe-bryant-traded-5-31-07.jpg
    He’s been doing this since he came into the league. This picture is from March 2007. It’s very similar to the scowl, just not quite as intense. I think maybe he just decided to intensify it this playoffs.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p011570423591970b KobeWearsAPurpleThong

    Eggs-ACT-ly. If they can somehow pull out a win Sunday that would be ginormous.

  • larry

    the magic are not going to win a game.!!they have no inside game, they are just the eastern conference patsy this year..i can see getting blown out, but at least look like a team out there..believe it or not i think leaving nelsen in the second quarter for that long messed up alstons ego..the lakers just looked more hungry thats all.!!i cannot bare to see kobe celebrate a championship.!!

  • BigMckWearsAGreenBra2CoverHisManBoobs

    Me: Knock knock…
    You: Who’s there?
    Me: The Celtics..
    You: The Celtics who?
    Me: the Celtics who couldn’t repeat so all their fans can do is hate someone cause of a facial expression
    Anythings possible!!!! Cough cough

  • DRJ

    There is an argument to be made that it’s a mistake to root for the Magic and against the Lakers. Fact is, it’s extremely hard to win back-to-back championships, for many reasons. If you want the Celtics to win next year, you should HOPE the Lakers win this year. Then they will have to go through the entire year facing everybody’s A game, and they will have the repeat curse… which means the Cs will be more likely to get #18.
    That’s the main reason to root for LA… but there are others, though probably less compelling to most Celtics fans. I believe the Lakers are enemies WHEN THE CELTICS PLAY THEM. Otherwise, I consider them fellow combatants to be appreciated, not hated. Kobe is an absolutely great player (obviously) who works his ass off to stay that way. Can’t deny that, and shouldn’t disrespect it. And now, even mr softie himself, Gasol, is stepping up the physicality… he’s in there trying to push Howard around (as best he can, anyway). And yes, even nutjob Bynum is in there fighting. So you gotta hand it to the Lakers… they’re a great team.
    They can have the trophy this year. Call it a rental. Next year, the lease will expire and they can get spanked again… assuming the Cs can stay healthy. Well… assuming KG can stay healthy, anyway.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5d5d11970c Tim (FD)

    I disagree. To me it’s just as important that the Lakers don’t win a championship as it is that the Celtics do win one.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f6a54c2970c ToTheRuins

    dont put a rookie on him # 1
    dont put a guy wearing kobe shoes on him #2
    he smells blood at that point
    and while kobes performance was nice…lets get real…16/34 is nothing special…at all.
    Lebron against the magic in game 1 was 20/30
    It was honestly the lakers aggressiveness and defense, believe it or not

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f6a54c2970c ToTheRuins

    The only player on the magic roster with finals experience was taken out of the rotation for a guy who hasnt played in 4 months.
    Anthony Johnson

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5cd064970c Count Istvan

    A huge key to beating the Lakers or anybody else is believing you can. The Nuggets didn’t believe it and they didn’t. The Magic don’t look like they believe it and I doubt they will.

  • Uncle Leo

    Look, there’s no blueprint for winning against three talented seven footers who can all pass, score, and rebound as good as anyone on your own team on the frontline, couple that with kobe and it’s a monster. The only position that could ever exploit them is at the point. Nelson, Brooks, pg’s who can get in the lane and draw help while ALSO having a great shot (rondo has to develop this in order to get to the level of guys like deron williams). But even then you could only win when they’re on a bad night.
    The celts last year did it the best. Home court plus cheap and gritty defense. It was the one thing almost no one on the lakers ever faced and it showed, but it was only good for one shot it seems. Denver tried to replicate everything (bear hugging on rebounds, holding) But they played young and lost their composure. It’s a shame it wasn’t a rematch this year in the finals. Damn shame.

  • Uncle Leo

    And the whole “they couldn’t have had a worse shooting night so they’ll play better” argument is garbage. These guy’s are pro’s and this the nba finals there are no bad shooting nights unless the other team is throwing you out of your rhythm.

  • http://www.thelakersnation.com PhilsArmy

    LOL man! LOL yeah this is sooooo going to work, even though they have like 100 offensive weapons… LMAO!!!
    PJax will get his 10th title, Kobe Bryant will get his 4th title (more titles than the OLD Three combined LAWLZ), Kobe >>>>> Pierce, Jackson>>>>> Auerbach.. You know what else?
    There’s not a damn thing any of you Lakers haters can do about it except make articles fantasizing that Kobe and his Big 4 (KB-AB-PG-LO) will somehow be stopped.
    It’s going to be a long week for you guys.
    Go Lakers!

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5cd064970c Count Istvan

    There’s isn’t a damn thing we Lakers lovers love to do more than fantasize that Kobe will stick his little 2 two into our mouths. But our fantasies will somehow be stopped.
    Fixed.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p011570423591970b KobeWearsAPurpleThong

    Right-they have Adonal Foyle who’s been in the L a while, but hasn’t played
    in the Finals as far as I know

  • Hibachi_style

    Nice blueprint. Too bad the Suckdics couldn’t implement it the two times they played the Lakers this season.
    BOSTON SUCKDICS!!!

  • lakeshow24

    keep on hating, c’s fans. whatever makes ya’ll feel better.

  • rod

    hey c fans. catch any good fish yet?

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f6a54c2970c ToTheRuins

    Lets all give this douche a round of applause for originality
    Lol @ lakers fans

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f6a54c2970c ToTheRuins

    That argument is garbage?
    No, actually its not at all…even the lakers know the magic missed open shots.
    shooting 29% is about the most rational excuse for a loss …ever.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p01156f5d5d11970c Tim (FD)

    Are you serious???

  • Shawn-cvd

    How is Jackson better then Red? Red won his titles coaching the SAME team not cherry picking his opportunities like over rated Big Chief Triangle.
    As for Truth he’s not Kobe but he’s FAR better than national media will give credit to.

  • Shawn-cvd

    BTW “Kobe and his big four” is just STUPID. It suggests five players and when you just used the initials I couldn’t imagine who KB was. LOL.
    And Bynum is in your Big Four!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Ariza has been much better than him. In fact my prophecy last year that Fakers will never be a championship team staring Radmanovich is ringing true (unfortunately). The trading of Vlade has as much or more to do with their success as the health of El Foul Machina Bynum.

  • Shawn-cvd

    *starting Radmanovich

  • dom1020

    This site has more Lakers related articles than Celtics.I bet you enjoy posting up these stupid ass articles knowing that the team that beat yours is getting handed to in the finals by the Lakers. Don’t say Celtics didn’t have Garnett, they went to game seven in the garden. Celtic fans make excuses for everything.
    -TLNation baby.

  • http://www.thelakersnation.com PhilsArmy

    LOLLLLLL classic bro!!

  • http://profile.typepad.com/6p011570055bc1970c tenacious

    Thats right! suck it celtics! Laker Nation feelin’ you!!!!!
    p.s. you cant stop the mamba!

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