The All “I Want To Punch Him In The Face” Team | Red's Army - The Voice of Boston Celtics Fans
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The All “I Want To Punch Him In The Face” Team

It's very simple.  I have an unnatural hatred for these individuals.  It burns with the white hot energy of a thousands suns.  The mere sight of them makes me wish were standing in an octagon.  They are the players at each position I'd most like to punch in the face.  I think you do too.

Hey, if people can hate on KG… then I can hate on these guys.

PG:  Mike Bibby


I never said I don't hold a grudge.  Remember when Bibby said this last year?

"They were kind of loud at
the beginning," he said. "But a lot of these fans are bandwagon jumpers
trying to get on this now. I played here last year, too. And I didn't
see three fourths of them. They're for the team now and they might get
a little rowdy but that's about it."

I know he was trying to take the heat off young team.  In fact, he did such a good job that I still want to knock him upside the head for it.  Ever since then, he's been booed every time he touches the ball in Boston.  He's lucky that's all he gets.  In the old day of the Boston Garden, things might be different.

SG:  Kobe Bryant

Kobe bryant

He's a first ballot Hall of Famer on this team.  Do I need to go through this at all?  I will just keep adding to the list.  This time, His Douchiness earned his spot on this squad by completely taking over Spike Lee's movie about him so it could be portrayed in the most positive light.  Nothing about this jackass is genuine.  It's all about image.  Everything is manipulated

SF: Vince Carter

Vince carter 

That might as well be his file photo on

Look, I'm not here to make fun of injuries.  I take them all seriously.  But that's how Vince reacts to an untied shoe.  And what's worse… he'll pull this act and then on the next trip throw down a windmill dunk.  He goes down like he's been shot whenever there's any hint of contact.  Ok, I'll just say it.  He's a bitch. 

PF:  Anderson Varejao
Anderson varejao

This one is probably universal.  But I don't hate him for flopping.  Every player is taught to "sell" a charge call.  But he does it with a European Soccer flair.  When Glen Davis dropped him, he fell hard and stayed down like he was really hurt.  And then suddenly, he popped up and ran after Baby (conveniently, when everyone else had already gotten into the scrum) and he's fine.  That's just annoying.

C:  Joakim Noah


This is courtesy of all his BS in this series.  And of course, I get this annoying prick for a full 7 games and 7 overtimes.  I'm sick of all his yelling and screaming.  All his facial expressions.  All of his mix-ups with Perk and everyone else.  It just all pisses me off.  Yes, that sounds like the same reason why people hate KG… but Noah's no KG.  He hasn't built up any capital to pull from.  Try having a hall of fame career first… and then let's see if we'll buy this crap.  And besides KG's on my team, and Noah isn't.

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  • haha

    Hating on Kobes Greatness?…If you hate people with “passion” Toss Kg in it..He likes picking on little people LOl

  • WestCoastCelt

    Yeah, it’s the “passion” that makes Kobe hateable. No, it’s the ego that he thinks he’s better than the top 10 NBA players combined, that he’s a ballhog, the fact his own teammates hate him, he’s a rapist and/or adulterer, image conscience, that he buys his wife’s loyalty, etc. No, it’s none of that, it’s “hating greatness.” You’re so freaking blind.

  • Shaq

    KOBE!!! MVP!!! KOBE!!! MVP!!! of RAPE!!!

  • rvr

    for me brad miller has moved way up on this list. i might put him in as a starter over noah at this point. the guy has acted like such a punk in this series. he overreacts when he’s fouled and then grins when he puts something over on the refs. he’s a pretty good flopper, too. i never watched the guy much until this series, but i’ve already had more than i ever want of his play.

  • That’s a great list. Vince doesn’t bother me so much because he’s fairly inconsequential at this point, but I would definitely enjoy punching all of the others in the face.

  • Leon POW

    6th man – Sasha Vujacic. No explanation as to why is necessary

  • Honorable Mention: Sasha Vujacic, Rip Hamilton, Pau Gasol

  • Vujacic definitely…I’d move Varejo to SF and add Al Horford

  • WestCoastCelt

    No Vujacic?
    Honorable mentions:
    Chris Paul

  • WestCoastCelt

    Damn. Nice work guys.

  • haha

    haha how is he a ballhog? he avgs 5 assist a game…if that means he is a ballhog what do you call pierce? He avgs 3 assist a game only… How does he think hes better than the top 10 nba players?..did he say he was? I think princess pierce said he was the best…Which is ridiculous to say…Rape? was he ever convicted of rape? No right? thank you lol…Your such an idiot and should be ban from this blog lol. Celtics should be ashamed to have a fan like you..i would lol. You just been OWNED lol

  • Kobe is an inspiration…..
    for freestyle: “Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes”

  • NineSevenEight

    You probably think OJ is innocent too. That’s why they call it a settlement because we all know money talks. And we all know Kobe doesn’t like it when Kobe doesn’t get his way. The girl in Vail,CO can certainly vouch for that. Better yet-ask Spike Lee. Hell, ask his own teammates. Kobe is the ARod of the NBA. Obsessed with himself and his image. My personal favorite was when he dragged Shaq into the mix and said he “should have paid off” the girls he had affairs with “like Shaq.” What a guy!
    A shame they don’t even make other Laker jerseys, only Kobe’s. I’m sure that’s in his contract though.
    That’s the difference between Celtics and Laker games. First of all, you can actually SEE fans at the Garden. And when you see them they aren’t just wearing KG, Pierce, and Allen jerseys-you see fans rocking House, Perk, Rondo, Powe, Davis jerseys on their backs. The appreciation for what every player brings to the team runs way deeper.

  • put kobe at small forward and sasha at sg, vince is inconsequential at this point
    my second team would be
    pg: 3 way tie between- derek fisher, jason kidd, and dj augustine
    sg: ben gordon
    sf: rip hamilton
    pf: kenyon martin
    c: pau gasul

  • I agree with Kobe, Joakim and Carlito. The other two don’t bother me.

  • Lakerhater

    Bench: Vujacic, Horford, Odom, Gasol, kenyon martin.
    Head Coach: Phil Jackson, assited by the Van Gundy Bros.

  • Did anyone else see that on the play where rose blocked rondo’s shot rondo would have almost certainly got the ball back, except hinrich blatantly shoved him to the ground?
    he should have been shooting free throws

  • Ben

    I’d also add Lebron James. I can’t stand his stupid pre-game “pictures” and he’s so arrogant that he picked himself as one of his 5 favorite players growing up. Then he has “his troops” solute him when he’s introduced. I bet the Cavs have someone that following him around telling him how great he is: “Wow Lebron, no one blows their nose like you do!”

  • I did an article like this on Celtics 17 earlier on the year. I switched out Kobe with Sasha Vujacic, and I switched out Vince with Ron Artest. Nice article.

  • who da guy

    Lebron and carmelo should be tied for SF, i hate them much more then i hate Vince.
    Sasha 6th man for sure!

  • CFH

    Also so arrogant that he actually has that “chosen one” tattoo.
    And the announcers are always talking about how his goal is to be a billionaire like it’s adorable. It’s said in the same tone as “little Judy wants to be a ballerina when she grows up!”

  • You forgot Kevin Garnett and Rajon Rondo. 🙂

  • celt

    Please, don’t say they overact when they get hurt over little things… People can just say about Pierce faking it in the finals and needed a wheelchair. So ignorant…

  • Great list-all dbags all the time.

  • The runners of this blog should be on an all d-bag team as well. My goodness.. Way to show some class Celtics Nation!!
    At least none of these guys give a fuck what you think about them.. And what’s so damn bad about being aware of the image you project? Fuck, more people should consider what kind of image they are putting out to the public (ahem, case and point is this blog). Seriously, you guys never fail to have jerkoff, asinine comments following any game. Even if the other team played well, it’s “AAAAH the refs screwed us, omfg!! conspiracy, conspircay!!! everybody else sucks and is d-bags!!!lkjsalkj”.
    Grow the fuck up. You believe whatever you read online. That’s pretty retarded, lmao. Fuck whatever the REAL story is, fuck Spike Lee DENYING what was said, it’s all irrevalent. You jackasses need to believe everything is true anyway, so you can assume the worst in people and fulfill your hate fetish. Nevermind you guys have one of the biggest d-bags in the league, if not in league history, sitting on your bench running his mouth like a dumbass. What a bunch of fucking hypocrites. Pathetic.
    Like I said, grow the fuck up.

  • Gofishboston

    lol you people are dumbasses. If you tried to punch any of these players, they’d beat the **** outta you little pr*cks. Seriously, you hate kobe bryant and lebron james because none of the players on your team can even touch the greatness level of either of them. Get ready to go fish tomorrow celtic fans.

  • Retard

    your a dumbass. what does that make pierce then? 3 asts? OHHH PIERCE IS A MUCH BETTER TEAMMATE THAN KOBE OHHH!

  • Gofishboston

    This is the real top 5:
    Ray Allen
    Paul Pierce
    Rajon Rondo
    Kevin Garnett
    Glen Big Crybaby Davis
    honorable mentions: Brian Scalabrine, Kendrick Perkins, Eddie House, Mikki moore, Stephon Marbury,

  • Shawn-cvd

    Nice trolling in a Celtics fan blog. The only class you showed was leaving Leon Powe off your list… or perhaps it was ignorance?!?

  • Shawn-cvd

    LOL you burned calories adding Mikki Moore to your list.

  • NoahpwnsBoston

    This is so basketball related. Hey, when you make a another website like this, make sure it relates to the nba instead of this shitty bullshit that nobody cares about.

  • NoahpwnsBoston

    “…Nothing about this jackass is genuine. It’s all about image. Everything is manipulated”
    You are so fucking ignorant. You don’t know anything about Kobe’s work ethics and his passion for winning. Yeah, he had his ups and downs, nobody in this goddamn world is fucking perfect. It’s funny how The boston Celtics are getting played by The chicago bulls, so you post this bullshit to make you and the boston fags, i mean fans happy.


    i find it hilarious this douchebag could even write an article like this. if kobe were wearing celtics green youd be all over his nuts. and that part about vc? i sorta remember same thing with paul pierce last finals… crying on his way off the court to come back and nail some 3’s? sorry pierce is no bernard king. show some class boston fans.

  • NoahpwnsBoston

    I thought L.A. fans were classless in Blogs but it seems like these fans are more classless. they need to vent their anger out because Boston is having trouble with Chicago. Lame as fuck. And as for creator of “redsKarmy” so suck your wifes dick bitch and i don’t care if this is classless. fucking faggots

  • NoahpwnsBoston

    Hahahhaha Exactly Bitch ass paul pierce was crying his ass off in the finals. With that acting, he would go nowhere in hollywood -___-. Imagine if he had a splinter in his foot :O

  • Unfair to categorise Red’s Army as a classless blog.
    But to the author (RA): as a Celtics blog, it might have been wise to leave this topic alone.
    KG’s clearly the biggest asshat in the league, even if Rondo’s busting a gut to join him.
    You’re going to do this, do it without the filter of bias.
    Both KG & Rondo are clearly deserving, more so than the PG/PF you list.

  • NBA2k9man


  • Cepticfansdontknow…..

    “…Nothing about this jackass is genuine. It’s all about image. Everything is manipulated”
    hahahaah really? you poor sack of shit. Do you know how hard kobe bryant has worked to become one of the best in the world? no kobe’s not the jackass, its u redsarmy, this whole site, and all those classless celtic fans. You merely posted this to vent your frustration as you need 7 games to beat a 41 team bull team….

  • ohcrud


  • these lakers fans dont even dignify a response, actually its probly just one fan with a bunch of different names
    but the biggest surprise is how Zaza failed to make it on anyone’s list

  • celt r pathetic

    Zaza will whup your ass

  • Mama Irish

    im cheatin on u cause ur Fugly