It's awards season in the NBA… and I'm putting a team together of a bunch a guys who ain't got no alibi…
But this isn't just a bunch of pictures of ugly NBA players. There are some uglier guys out there… but these guy have pretty games. This is a good team. A playoff team (at least in the East). But let's just say it's a good thing they've got NBA contracts… because they wont' be getting any modeling contracts any time soon.
How do I determine if a guy is ugly? I use the wife-o-meter. Whenever she watches a game, sees a close up of an opposing player, and says "ugh"… then he was nominated.
PG: Delonte West
(photo via slam online)
On the court, he's got a sweet stroke, a fearless attitude, and confidence to take it at anyone. I'll overlook the injuries, which constantly rob him of games season after season. I'm focusing on his talent, which makes him a sold starter at either guard spot.
SG: Hedo Turkoglu
We've seen Hedo bang big shots. And while his numbers dropped a little this season, there's no doubt that he has the ability to be deadly in stretches on the court.
He's also got the ability to be deadly in the mirror. To quote my wife, "it looks like his face is melting."
SF: Tayshaun Prince
Pardon the double-ugliness in the photo.
Tayshaun has had a nice career as a do-it-all kind of 3. He can score in spurts. He can defend. He can hit a big shot. He's been remarkably consistent over the past 5 years, which means you can count on about 14, 5 and 3 from him most nights. His ridiculously long arms make him a tough perimeter defender. It also is part of why he's so ugly. His arms, legs… and face… are both much longer than the average human's. He also weighs about 98 pounds, which just adds to the overall effect.
PF: Al Jefferson
The star of this team on the court. Now… everyone knows I love me some Big Al. A legit 20-10 guy… and more on some nights. He should be a perennial All Star and a building block of just about any team.
However, it looks like he fell flat on his face a lot as a child… so welcome to the team, Al.
C: Pau Gasol
I will admit that Gasol is a pretty good offensive player. But good GOD is he an offensive sight. That's one of the ugliest photos I've ever seen. Does he have a second elbow on his left arm? what is that thing?
He's soft, but talented. And he's as ugly as it gets. In short, he's exactly what this team is all about.
6th man: Zaza Pachulia
One of my favorite quotes out of my wife came when they showed a close up of Zaza. She groaned… and said "What's his name… Mongoloid Stephens?"
For that reason alone, I had to have him on this team.